Q&A

In this episode of 'Not Your Typical Desi,' host Shivani provides updates on the show's schedule and explores various personal topics through a Q&A session.

Transcript

 Hey everyone! Welcome back to Not Your Typical Desi. I'm your host, Shivani. Before we start, I wanted to give you all an update. Episode 5, The Lonely Victory, will now be dropping next Saturday, January 8th. Um, with Trump's first week back in office, there's been a lot to process, not just politically, but emotionally.

I've been reflecting on the impact of these events, especially on marginalized communities, and figuring out how I can take action beyond just processing. I've been looking for ways to volunteer and contribute to systemic change, because I believe in not just talking about these issues, but doing something about them.

It's important to me that I show up in ways that are meaningful both for myself and for the causes I care about. So I'm taking a short pause before episode 5 to allow space for this work, while also making sure that when I do come back, I'm bringing my full energy and authenticity to the conversation.

I appreciate your patience and support, and I encourage you all to take care of yourselves too. If you have the capacity, I invite you to also look into ways to support your communities, whether through direct action, mutual aid, or simply checking in on those around you. We're in this together. Today's episode is extra special because we're diving into your questions in this Q& A segment.

Thank you so much for sending in such thoughtful and meaningful questions. I am really excited to share more about myself and connect with you all on a deeper level. So let's get started. So the first question is why was it hard for you to connect with your cultural identity and how have you embraced it now?

Growing up, it was challenging to connect with my cultural identity because I didn't feel like I had access to it in a way that made sense to me. Being adopted into a non Desi family added layers of disconnection. My adoptive parents did their best to connect me to my culture, and I deeply appreciate their efforts.

But despite their good intentions, it often added more confusion for me. It wasn't their fault at all. Trying to bridge that gap as an adoptee in a non Desi environment was simply overwhelming. On top of that, I didn't always feel very welcomed by the Desi community. I felt like I didn't quite belong, which only made it harder to approach my culture without feeling like an outsider.

For a long time, I resisted fully exploring my heritage. There was fear of doing it wrong, and I didn't know where to start. I also struggled with self confidence and feeling like I had a right to claim my identity. It felt overwhelming to navigate all the possibilities of how to connect, and I didn't know what truly resonated with me.

What helped me start this journey was the realization that I needed to let go of those limiting beliefs and take small steps toward understanding myself. A significant part of that process has been reconnecting spiritually with my birth mom. Doing ancestral work with her has been one of the most healing and empowering aspects of my journey.

It's helped me feel more rooted in my identity and more connected to the parts of my culture that once felt so far away. Now I've embraced my cultural identity in ways that feel authentic and personal to me, whether it's through wearing bindis, meditating, listening to Bollywood music, or exploring my heritage.

I've found a sense of harmony in integrating these aspects into my life. It's not always easy, and I'm still learning to balance everything, but there's a renewed sense of excitement and purpose. This journey is about reclaiming my identity, honoring where I come from, and creating a connection that feels true to who I am today.

Question two is, what's your morning and night routine like? Um, honestly, my routines are a mix of disciplined intention and pure chaos. Because, let's be real, life doesn't always cooperate. In the mornings, I try to start with grounding rituals, I meditate, pull a tarot card for the day, or light a candle at my altar to align my energy.

Those small moments of structure give me a sense of control and empowerment. But if I'm being honest, there are days when the fatigue hits hard and self care feels more like an afterthought than a priority. King Hades would definitely agree that I can be inconsistent. Some mornings, I'm that focused, intentional version of myself, ready to manifest my dreams.

Other mornings, I'm scrambling to figure out what I'm even doing with my day. At night I wind down with journaling, reflecting on the day, and practicing gratitude, when I have the energy of course. Music or a comfort show helps me relax, but sometimes I just collapse into bed and call it a night. I guess you could say my routines are a work in progress, much like everything else in life.

The key is showing up for myself even if it's imperfect. Question three is what makes you happy? What small joys keep you going? Happiness for me is deeply tied to healing and growth. There's so much joy in recognizing how far I've come and giving myself the space to move past old wounds. Even on days when hope feels distant or I'm unsure of my direction, I find happiness in the little meaningful moments that remind me there's still so much to look forward to.

Creative projects have become such a surprising source of joy for me. I've always struggled with allowing myself breaks and true rest, but letting my guard down through creativity has been incredibly healing. Whether it's writing, sharing my story, or working on this podcast, creative expression brings me a sense of fulfillment I never expected.

Even when it feels triggering, hearing how many of you resonate with my journey and find healing or hope through it makes everything so worth it. I also find joy in dreaming about possibilities. Setting goals and envisioning what's next, whether it's growing this community or taking on a new project, keeps me motivated.

Progress, no matter how small, feels like a victory to me. Celebrating personal milestones like finishing a podcast episode or tackling a challenge gives me that sense of accomplishment. One of my favorite joys is connecting with all of you through my discord server. Watching the conversations unfold, seeing the support and love everyone shares, and knowing we've built a safe space together.

It's such a powerful reminder that none of us are truly alone. And of course the small quiet moments mean so much too. Spending time journaling, reflecting, or even just sitting with my pets brings me peace. These moments remind me to slow down and savor the beauty in the little things. Happiness for me is about embracing all of this, the creative sparks, the dreaming, the connections, and even the challenges that help me grow stronger.

Sharing my story, fostering a community, and creating spaces where we can all feel seen and heard has brought me more joy than I ever thought possible. And that's a happiness I'll carry with me every, every step of the way for the rest of my life.

Question four. When did you first realize you weren't a typical desi? What was that realization like for you? Well I've always known I didn't fit in. Even as a kid, I felt different, but I didn't have the emotional intelligence or understanding to recognize that it wasn't my fault. Instead, I internalized those feelings, believing that something was wrong with me, that I was unlovable or broken in some way.

It was a heavy burden to carry and for a long time I tried to mold myself to fit into societal expectations, even if it meant people pleasing or sacrificing my own needs. But over time, I've started letting go of that. I've begun focusing on what feels true and authentic to me. That realization was, of course, not easy.

Um, my spirit team reminds me that stepping into my truth has been like setting out on a new adventure. It's been about moving away from limiting beliefs and giving myself permission to break free from old patterns. At times, I still wrestle with self doubt and chasing validation, but I've learned to ground myself in the power of self love and intentional action.

I'll be diving more into my deep rooted struggles with external validation in the next episode, as it's a part of my journey I'm still working on daily. The most profound lesson I've learned is that my worth isn't tied to how others perceive me. Progress doesn't always come with applause, and that's okay.

My victory lies in reclaiming my independence and celebrating my own growth, even when it feels small. What made this journey even more challenging was the pain of feeling unwelcome or out of place, both within the Desi community and outside of it. That sense of rejection hurt deeply, but it also taught me resilience.

Today I find happiness in embracing my differences and letting go of the need for external validation. It hasn't been a perfect German journey. I almost said Germany. It hasn't been a perfect journey. There are still, still moments when the old wounds resurface, but I've realized that every step forward, no matter how small, is a win.

And even if I'm standing out or walking this path alone, I know I'm built for it. My story is my own, and I wouldn't change it for anything because it's made me who I am today. Question 5. What self care or self love practices do you do to invite love and beauty to yourself? If I'm being honest, I'm not the best at taking care of myself.

Self care doesn't come naturally to me, and it's something I'm still learning to navigate. But even in the messiness, I've realized that self love doesn't have to be perfect. It's about finding small ways to show up for myself. For me, self love starts with nurturing the connections that matter most. My relationships, whether with loved ones, my pets, or even my spiritual guides, bring so much emotional fulfillment into my life.

Those connections feel like home, and I take comfort in the joy they bring. Another form of self love for me is learning to let go of conflicts and emotional burdens. Releasing grudges or old wounds creates space for peace and healing. I'm also working on celebrating my progress privately, even when external validation isn't there.

It's an ongoing journey, but I'm learning that I don't need outside recognition to feel proud of myself. When it comes to processing emotions, I make space for reflection and acceptance. Whether it's journaling, meditating, or just sitting with my feelings, honoring my emotions, even the hard ones, is an act of self care.

I've also realized the importance of celebrating personal mindstones in my own way. I don't always need big, outward celebrations, sometimes it's about creating small, meaningful rituals that mark my progress. Self love also means focusing on myself and prioritizing my needs. There are times when I overextend for others, but I'm learning to step back and take care of myself first.

Creativity has also been a powerful way to invite love and beauty into my life. Sharing my story, working on this podcast, and manifesting new ideas remind me of my ability to create and grow. Finally, I found self love in following my own path, even when it goes against traditional expectations. Choosing what resonates with me and aligning with my authentic self is one of the most empowering acts of love I can give myself.

Self love, of course, is an ongoing process and I'm still learning to give myself grace along the way. It's not about getting it perfect, it's about trying, even in small ways, to invite love and beauty into my life. Question 6. What's your advice for a Desi person who doesn't identify with the religious slash cultural identity they grew up with?

First of all, it's okay to feel this way. My advice is to give yourself permission to explore what resonates with you. Redefining your relationship with culture or religion is a deeply personal journey and it's completely valid to let go of what doesn't serve you. It's not always easy to step away from expectations or traditions, but clarity comes when you allow yourself to question and reflect.

Let this process inspire you to embrace hope and authenticity. It's a journey of growth and learning. Start small and don't rush yourself. You may face resistance or setbacks, either from others or within yourself. That's okay, it's part of the process. What matters is finding freedom from the limitations or beliefs that have held you back.

Ultimately, this journey is about moving toward what brings you peace and alignment. You are allowed to rebuild and redefine your own path on your own terms. Honor the parts of your identity that bring you joy and light, and trust that this exploration will lead you to a more authentic version of yourself.

Take your time to learn, ask questions, and honor the parts that feel aligned. You get to decide what your identity looks like, and that's such a beautiful thing. Question 7. How to move on from friends who walked away and how to deal with the grief. Moving on from friends who have walked away is never easy and the grief that comes with it is real and valid.

One of the first steps is allowing yourself to release the emotional burdens that come with holding on too tightly. Let yourself feel the loss, but also trust that this release will open up space for healing and growth. Sometimes it's about leaning into your intuition to guide you through the process.

You might find clarity in quiet moments of reflection or through connecting with your inner wisdom. Focus on grounding yourself and, excuse me, and building a sense of stability in your life. Strengthening your foundation can give you the confidence to move forward, even when the road feels uncertain.

It's also important to recognize that grief is not linear. It can feel slow and heavy at times, but every small step forward matters. Surround yourself with people and activities that bring you comfort and joy. Celebrate the relationships that uplift you, and remember that you're deserving of deep and meaningful connections.

However, it's okay to acknowledge moments of anger or confusion as well. Conflict, whether internal or external, is a natural part of processing these emotions. What's important is finding ways to channel that energy into new beginnings. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting or erasing the good times, but rather finding freedom from the pain and emotional restrictions.

It's about reclaiming your sense of self and allowing yourself to heal at your own pace. I hope that was helpful. Number eight. What is the purpose of your podcast and what inspired you to create it? The purpose of Not Your Typical Desi is to create a space for authentic, raw, and meaningful conversations about identity, mental health, spirituality, and culture.

I wanted to build something that could resonate with people who feel like they don't fit the mold, who are navigating their own complexities, and don't often see themselves represented. Starting this podcast came from a place of feeling stuck and frustrated, trapped in a system and a society that doesn't always make room for people like me.

For years I felt like my voice didn't matter, like I was invisible in spaces where I should have felt seen. This podcast became my way of taking that power back. I knew I wanted to share my experiences not just to heal myself, but to connect with others who might feel the same way. I created Not Your Typical Desi as a way to process, reflect, and celebrate the messiness of being human.

It's about embracing the growth and healing that come from the struggles we endure. It's about learning to reclaim your voice even when it feels like the world is working against you. And most importantly, it's about showing that it's okay to take your own path even if it doesn't look like anyone else's.

Through this podcast, I wanted to explore the nuances of being queer, neurodivergent, and disabled while also diving into how I've reconnected with my desi identity in ways that feel authentic to me. I wanted to give space to the topics that don't get enough attention, things like navigating mental health in marginalized communities, breaking out of traditional expectations, and finding joy in the little victories.

But this podcast isn't just about my story. It's about creating a community. I want listeners to feel seen, to know they're not alone, and to feel empowered to share their own journeys. I want Not Your Typical Desi to be a place where we can grow, learn, and heal together. At the end of the day, this podcast is about hope.

It's my way of turning pain into purpose, and I hope it inspires others to do the same. First off, I just want to validate how tough it can be to navigate

neurodivergence within a culture that often stigmatizes mental health and differences. It takes so much courage to acknowledge. Those struggles, let alone speak about them openly. I see you and I honor your experience. Well, I didn't grow up immersed in Desi culture. I can imagine how isolating it might feel when your needs or identity aren't fully understood.

You might feel pressure to conform to cultural expectations, and that can be incredibly heavy to carry. My advice is to give yourself permission to honor who you are and to seek out spaces where you feel seen and valued. Whether that's through safe online communities, close friendships, or connecting with others who share similar experiences, finding support can be incredibly healing.

Most importantly, know that your story matters. Your journey, your identity, and your experiences are valid. By embracing who you are, you're already challenging stigma and creating a ripple effect of change for others who might feel the same way. Question 10. If I had to describe my life right now in a tarot spread, what three cards would show up?

That is a amazing question. Um, I think, I think the first card I would choose is the star representing healing, hope, and growth. Um, then the chariot symbolizing determination and the willpower to push forward through challenges. And finally, The Fool, representing new beginnings, courage, and embracing the unknown, as I continue to take risks in my personal and professional life.

Question eleven. If my pets could describe me in three words, what would they say? Um, I actually asked them via my tarot cards, and then I wrote down the cards I got so I wouldn't forget, so. Um, let's see. We've got the Hanged Man Upright, so reflective. Uh, my pets see me as someone who takes time to reflect on things and is always thinking deeply.

Um, The Hanged Man suggests a kind of stillness and contemplation, which could translate into them perceiving me as someone who takes a step back and is introspective, especially in moments of challenge. They recognize that I don't always rush into things and that I value quiet time to think things through.

Then we've got the Queen of Wands reversed. independent. With the Queen of Wands reversed, my pets see me as a bit more reserved or introverted at times. I might have noted moments where I pull back from the world or don't always display my full fiery confidence, but they still recognize my inner strength and individuality.

I might not always be outgoing, but my pets likely notice that I'm true to myself and not overly dependent on others. And then lastly, we've got Judgment. Transformative. Judgment is a card about growth, change, and transformation. My pets see me as someone who's always evolving, whether it's through my emotions, habits, or the way I handle life.

This card says that they view me as someone who constantly learns from experiences and grows into a better version of myself. It also shows that I'm someone who gives second chances and is open to change, which could reflect how they see me adapt and improve in my personal journey. But yeah, another great question.

And question 12, what's the weirdest or most unexpected thing that's inspired an episode topic for your podcast? Um, the weirdest or most unexpected thing that's inspired my episode, Topics, has definitely been my triggers. It wasn't something I fully anticipated discussing here, um, but considering that I work with King Hades who embodies transformation and shadow work, it makes sense that I would be pushed into exploring these deeper, more uncomfortable parts of myself.

These triggers have become a way for me to confront and Heal Old Wounds, and showing that process has been an important part of my journey. And while it wasn't unexpected that King Hades would be supportive, he's always been there for me. What has been surprising is just how much this connection has deepened since starting the podcast.

He's been with me through every episode, offering guidance and helping me work through each topic. His support has been integral, and I'm so very grateful for how much my relationship with him has evolved through this process.

Question 14. What advice would you give to someone who feels like their story doesn't matter or that they're not worthy of sharing their experiences? Well, babe, your story matters because it's uniquely yours. You don't need anyone's permission to share your truth. The world needs your voice because it adds a piece to the puzzle that no one else can.

Your experience is valid and there are people out there who will deeply, who will be deeply moved by what you have to say. Just by being yourself, you're making a difference.

Question 15, what has been the most surprising feedback or reaction you've received from your podcast so far? Um, all the positive feedback I've received has been overwhelming in the best way. I honestly did not expect it at all, but I'm so grateful and really happy that I can provide a safe space and healing to my listeners.

Knowing that my words resonate with others in such a meaningful way fills me with joy, and I hope this continues to touch more people. This whole process has been incredibly healing and empowering for me as well. The feedback has reminded me that sharing my story is not just for me, it's for all of us who need to feel seen, heard, and understood.

Standing firm in my truth and embracing this journey has been Challenging, but the overwhelming support from everyone has made it so worth it. The road to creating this space hasn't been smooth sailing. There have been moments of uncertainty and exhaustion, where I've wondered if I'm doing enough or if I'm on the right path.

But I'm realizing that these moments are simply part of the process, and they've only made me stronger. There have been days when I felt stuck, unsure of what direction to take, and yet the growth that's come from pushing through has been profound. Each message of support is a reminder that change is happening not just within myself, but within the community that's forming around this podcast.

There have been moments when I've had to pause and reflect, but this journey has allowed me to embrace new opportunities and challenges, both personally and for the podcast. I'm grateful for how this has pushed me to keep releasing old patterns and trust in what lies ahead. I'm learning that success isn't always about having everything figured out or being perfect.

It's about showing up consistently and embracing the process, and through that I've learned to trust myself more deeply, knowing that every step, even the difficult ones, is an integral part of this whole journey. Progress is happening, and I'm so thankful for all of you who are on this path with me.

Number 16. What does success look like for you when it comes to your podcast and has your definition of success evolved over time? I like this question. Um, Success for me is no longer about external validation or achieving some predefined milestone. It's about deep emotional fulfillment, authenticity, and creating something that resonates on a soul level.

In the beginning, I Associated success with recognition, achievement, and proving my worth to others. I believed that external validation, whether in the form of praise, numbers, or milestones, was the key to feeling like I had accomplished something meaningful. I measured success by how others perceived my work, often feeling like I had to prove myself to be taken seriously.

But as I've grown and evolved, my definition of success has shifted dramatically. Now, success is about the emotional connection I foster through my podcast, the sense of fulfillment it brings, and the ways it allows me to express my truth. I am no longer chasing numbers or outside approval, but focusing on what truly aligns with my purpose.

The process of building this podcast has been deeply introspective, requiring patience, trust, and a willingness to let go of perfectionism. In the past, I felt pressure to always have everything figured out. But I learned to embrace the dr Excuse me. In the past, I felt pressure to ha to always have everything figured out.

But I've learned to embrace the journey and allow things to unfold naturally. I've realized that success isn't about constantly pushing myself to exhaustion or meeting arbitrary expectations. It's about creating something that nurtures both myself and others in a way that feels sustainable and authentic.

This podcast is an extension of my own growth. A space where I not only share my voice, but also invite others into a journey of healing, introspection, and empowerment. It is not just about storytelling. It is about reclaiming my narrative, offering wisdom, and building something meaningful that will leave an impact.

I am no longer bound by old disappointments or past failures. Instead, I focus on the possibilities ahead, making intentional choices that align with my values and vision. There is a renewed sense of passion driving me and excitement for the creative process and the freedom that comes with stepping into my full potential.

Looking back, I see how much my idea of success has evolved. What once felt like an endless pursuit of validation has become an internal journey of trust, confidence, and self acceptance. I am embracing joy, clarity, and the power of authenticity, realizing that the true resonates, not just with others, but with myself.

But with myself. But with myself. I have all the tools, knowledge, and capability to make this podcast thrive, and the only thing left is to continue trusting myself, following my intuition, and allowing my passion to lead the way.

Question 17. Do you feel like your podcast has changed you in any way since you started it? If so, how? Actually, I think Yeah, this is the last question. Do you feel like your podcast has changed you in any way since you started it? If so, how? Absolutely. Since starting my podcast, I have undergone a huge personal transformation, one that has shaken me at my core, forced me to confront uncomfortable truths, and ultimately reshaped the way I see myself in my journey.

At first I didn't expect it to be such a catalyst for change, but looking back I can see how this process has broken down old beliefs, helped me release past disappointments, and given me new opportunities for growth. This journey, again, hasn't always been smooth. I've experienced moments of deep introspection, feelings of isolation, and times when I questioned whether I was even on the right path.

I've struggled with doubt, frustration, and emotional exhaustion, and there have been times when the weight of my experiences felt overwhelming. I've had to confront unresolved grief, past regrets, and the parts of myself that I once tried to ignore. At times I've resisted this transformation, feeling lost or unsure of what comes next.

But even in the chaos, I've found clarity. Through this podcast, I've begun to embrace my purpose with a new level of confidence and trust. It has taught me to take leaps of faith, step outside my comfort zone, and release the fear of doing things wrong. I've started allowing myself to explore new opportunities, whether in creativity, personal growth, or self expression, without over analyzing every single step.

Instead of feeling like I have to have everything figured out, I'm learning to trust that the path will revi Sorry. Instead of feeling like I have to have everything figured out, I'm learning to trust that the path will reveal itself as I go. This experience has also shifted my relationships and the way I connect with others.

I've had to let go of some expectations, recognize which connections truly support me, and acknowledge the areas where I still struggle to open up. It has forced me to re evaluate my support systems. the way I handle emotional vulnerability, and how I show up in my relationships. In some ways, I've found deeper fulfillment, but I've also experienced moments of loneliness, realizing that not everyone will understand or celebrate my growth.

One of the most powerful shifts has been in my self worth and resilience. I've had to learn how to navigate setbacks, without seeing them as failures. I've had to remind myself that just because something feels difficult, it doesn't mean I'm on the wrong path. I've started to let go of limiting beliefs that told me I wasn't capable, and instead, I'm embracing the reality that I am fully in control of my success.

At the same time, I'm still learning to balance ambition with self care. There are moments when I push myself too hard, when my excitement for what I'm building makes me forget to rest. I've struggled with burnout, self doubt, and the fear of stagnation. But each time I slow down and reflect, I realize how much I've already achieved, how much I've learned, and how much I've grown.

This podcast has been both a challenge and a gift. It has shattered old perspectives, forced me into deep self reflection, and given me the space to embrace who I truly am. It has brought moments of pure joy and confidence, but also moments of struggle that have tested my patience and perseverance. More than anything, it has empowered me to step into my voice fully and unapologetically.

I am no longer the same person who started this journey, and I wouldn't want to be. Thank you so much for these incredible questions. I loved diving into these topics with you, and I hope my answers resonated. Please keep sending your questions and thoughts for future Q& A episodes. These conversations mean so much to me.

As always, thank you for being here. Until next time, and take care.

When The Lonely Victory drops on Saturday, January 8th, we'll be diving into the topic of celebrating wins when others don't, whether that's people closest to you or even mutuals on social media. It's going to be a deeply personal and relatable conversation, and I can't wait to share it with you all.