Honest Reflections-Burnout and Letting Go of Expectations

In this episode of 'Not Your Typical Desi,' Shivani opens up about feeling burnt out and the impacts of perfectionism while creating content. Shivani shares their personal struggle, highlighting the emotional challenges they faced, and the importance of acknowledging these feelings. They discuss navigating the impact of ADHD and autism on their time management and workload. Shivani emphasizes the necessity of self-care and the importance of being kind to oneself. The episode serves as a candid reflection on the need to let go of unrealistic expectations, take breaks, and prioritize mental well-being. They invite viewers to stay connected and participate in future interactive segments, pushing for a more honest and empathetic approach to content creation.

Transcript

 Hi everyone and welcome back to Not Your Typical Desi. I'm Shivani and today's episode is going to be a little different than what I had originally said at the end of episode two. If I'm being honest, I am feeling really burnt out. I've spent most of this week or, excuse me, I've spent the most of today refining this episode, trying to get it just right, and I've noticed myself getting really frustrated with the process.

So instead of sticking to the original plan, I want to take a step back and be honest about where I'm at. This, again, is not the episode I expected to release, but I think it's important to share the messy in between moments as well.  Let's talk about burnout, perfectionism, and how I'm working through it all.

Burnout is something I've experienced many times before, and I'm sure many of you have too. But, this week it really hit me very hard. I noticed myself getting Frustrated while working on this episode, feeling like no matter how much I refined it, it wasn't good enough. It, sorry, it all came to a head during the last three days of this week.

I ended up cramming everything into those few days, which wasn't the best idea on my part, but life happens and I'm not perfect. That's something I'm learning to accept. My immediate reaction was to get really angry with myself, stressing and clinging onto expectations that weren't even mine to begin with.

It was exhausting. Excuse me, I wish I had caught it sooner, but everything unfolds how it's supposed to, I'll be honest, there were days when I felt paralyzed by self doubt and nearly gave up, as mentioned in episode 2. What I didn't expect was how emotionally raw this experience has been for me.

Opening up in this podcast has been both the best and the worst for me. This is a new journey, and I'm not used to sharing my emotional emotions or experiences so openly. It's honestly really triggering but in a way that's helping me process things I've buried. It's a form of shadow work for me, but it's, as I've said, overwhelming.

Sometimes it feels like all my insecurities are being Shoved to the surface, but at the same time I can't deny that it's also been empowering. It's a lot to navigate, but I'm doing it and that matters. I have ADHD and time management is always a struggle, but I'm trying to be more aware of my limits and accepting that it's okay to slow down.

I have also been learning to navigate burnout and perfectionism while working with my autism. My neurodivergence adds another layer to things, especially when it comes to time management and feeling overwhelmed by tasks. It's part of what made this episode so challenging, but I'm learning to work with it, not against it.

I've learned that I don't have to have everything figured out right away, and that it's okay to take my time to process and grow. This week has honestly really been a wake up call. I thought I could power through everything and keep refining this episode, but instead it only led to burnout. I've learned that pushing myself too hard isn't sustainable, and sometimes I need to step back and rest.

This week reminded me that it's okay to take my time and not always strive for perfection. 

So now that we've talked about burnout, let's dive into what letting go of expectations looks like for me. Part of what led to this burnout was perfectionism, the feeling that this episode had to meet some imaginary standard I'd set for myself.

I kept thinking, what if it's not good enough? What if people don't like it? And the truth is, those thoughts only made it harder to move forward. Letting go of expectations has been a big lesson for me this week. I realized that this episode doesn't have to be perfect. To be perfect, to be meaningful. It doesn't have to follow a script or a plan.

It just has to be real. Self care has been a big part of letting go. Taking breaks, journaling, and talking to my spirit team helped me step back and see the bigger picture. It reminded me that it's okay to take things one step at a time, to release the pressure I've been putting on myself, and to trust that showing up as I am is enough.

I've learned that if I feel stuck, unsure, or overwhelmed, it's okay to take a pause, reassess, and try again. It's like that quote, insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting a different result. Sometimes stepping back gives you a chance to see a bigger picture and change your approach.

And here's the thing, I can't expect myself to have all the answers, especially when my energy is depleted. That's when I need to lean into those practices that help me reset. For me, that might mean pulling a tarot card, journaling, or cuddling up with my weighted blanket. Whatever helps me catch my breath and get back to a grounded place.

If you've ever felt burnt out or caught up in perfectionism, take a moment to reflect. What small step could you take today to give yourself grace and rest? 

Now that we've looked at burnout and expectations, let's talk about the lessons I'm learning from all of this. Burnout is a way of teaching us what we need to change.

For me, it's been a reminder to slow down and honor my limits. It's also taught me that it's okay to admit when I'm struggling. One of the hardest parts of this process has been confronting the guilt I feel when I'm not at my best. But I've realized that rest isn't a weakness, it's a necessity. If I want to create meaningful content, I have to take care of myself first.

Another lesson has been about self compassion. Instead of beating myself up for feeling burnt out, I'm trying to see it as an opportunity to grow. And It's a reminder that I'm human, and that's okay. Here's a small exercise that has helped me shift my perspective during tough moments. If you're feeling overwhelmed, try this.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and name three things you're grateful for right now. It's a small practice, but it can shift your mindset in tough moments. Burnout often shows up as irritability, Lack of focus and feeling drained. And I know I'm not alone in that. Being able to recognize these signs has been the first step toward addressing them.

I've also learned that it's important to look at the bigger picture. If I feel stuck, I need to remind myself that it's okay to change my approach and try again. And that's been a huge breakthrough for me.

Lastly, I've been leaning into small rituals that help me reset, whether it's journaling, pulling a tarot card, or just taking a break to cuddle up in my weighted blanket. These little moments remind me that I'm allowed to rest, to breathe, and to take my time. 

Now, let's wrap this up with a few final thoughts.

This episode didn't turn out the way I planned, and I'm sorry if it's not what you expected, but I hope that by sharing where I'm at, it resonates with someone out there. Life isn't always polished or perfect, and that's okay. If you're feeling burnt out or overwhelmed, I want you to know that you're not alone.

It's okay to pause, to rest, and to give yourself grace. The most important thing is to listen to what you need and honor that, even when it feels hard. I'm so grateful for y'all's understanding and support as I navigate this journey. Knowing you're here makes it all worthwhile. I know your time is valuable, and I'm so grateful you've chosen to spend a little of it here with me today.

Sometimes the most impactful thing we can do is show up authentically. I hope this episode inspires you to give yourself that same permission. If this episode resonated with you, send me a message or share your own experiences with burnout. Let's keep this conversation going. For me, moving forward means being kinder to myself and giving myself permission to rest when I need it.

I hope you'll do the same for yourself. Thank you for being here with me today and for allowing me to be honest about this moment. Again, if this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. You can connect with me on Instagram at desiwitch or join the Not Your Typical Desi Discord community.

Until next time and take care of yourselves. 

Next time on Not Your Typical Desi, episode 4 is still to be determined. That's because I want each episode to feel intuitive and aligned with where I'm at the time. But one thing I can share is that it will include a fun and interactive Q& A segment.

Whether you're curious about my journey, self care, spirituality, or even just have a random question, I'd love to hear from you. You can send your questions to me on Instagram at desiwitch or in the discord community. Let's create episode 4 together. I can't wait to hear what you're curious about. See you in episode 4.